AD has been a regular participant for over a year, she’s had great and needed changes, and she’s been remarking on how thankful she is that she could have sessions over Skype, how much better this works than to have to be in the physical presence of someone when she needs not to feel self-conscious at all about what she needs to express:
I want to share my experience of working over Skype. I’ve been working with Dex for over a year and, for many reasons, he’s by far the best counselor I’ve ever worked with. An integral part of the success of our therapeutic relationship, though, is simply due to the fact that it does not happen in person. I didn’t realize how much I’d struggled doing therapy in person until I started working with Dex; just how self conscious I felt when I had to deal with the very real presence of a person with needs of their own. I could never really relax, I could never really cry if I had to, etc. etc. because, well, there was someone sat a few feet away looking at me! And I was always in a space that was not my own. A space designed to be therapeutic but not necessarily in line with my needs.
I can express whatever I want, however I need, without having to worry about traveling after something’s shifted, without having to invest any energy into managing the reality that there’s a physical presence expressing its own energies close by. So much pressure! I always felt I had to be a good patient in some way, to show the therapist that I was transforming in front of them, that I was all ready to go by the end of the session. It was impossible for me to make progress. Working over Skype, I can choose whatever is best for me and it’s fine, it’s functional, it’s great. If I feel I can better express something if I’m not being observed, I just turn the camera away. Easy peasy! I was unsure at first working over Skype, but very quickly it became the obviously best way for me to work. And to speak to another concern I had about working over Skype: I’ve never felt worried that Dex isn’t present because he always is. Thank you, Dex!
It isn’t all that unusual in sessions for the participant to come to recognize some deep and pervasive truth, greatly changing and expanding your perspective. My clients, enjoying the freedom and convenience of working in sessions directly over the internet, come from all over this world. Chris shares a deep personal session revelation from his home in Thailand:
In relation to our session today, addressing the stabilizing of gains made:
Dex helped me to secure my source of the decision to be or not to be. I feel I know where the questioning even came from — referring to the very eloquently stated question I believe written in literature associated to the name Shakespeare.
To be or not to be is actually participate or not participate. I have left that vulnerable to condition. If a condition changed so then would the decision. If it isn’t clear yet what I’m saying, when left to condition or state of a condition – to be or not to be — then one loses the choice to the vulnerability of the state of condition… and kind of hangs one in the question of the state: Will the state change or not? So leaving the choice to the condition locks one to the condition as for attention to the condition — is it changing or not?
This win is still “fresh” and needs more “process” time but there it is stated as above.
— Chris D.
I hadn’t heard from Kathy in some time; it occurred to me that she still had a couple of hours of session time paid for and that this might be a good time for her to take advantage, so I got in touch and we had a session a few days ago. It turned out that Kathy had been having a rough stretch when I got in touch. Today, Kathy contacted me to share this:
I had a problem with feeling love for anyone. Now I have the love feeling back. Also I had stops in making money and now work is coming in without much effort again. Thanks for your help, Dexter.
– Love, Kathy
I wanted to thank you again for that session. I’ve come so far since then. I realized I was actually the one holding onto the shock of my brother’s death around me as a way to keep the grief at bay, and that was a huge job to keep up all day and night. Once I absorbed the shock, I was able to allow the process of grief to sort of flow through me. I would not have been able to do any of that without you so many, many thanks for your help.
I just had an AMAZING session with Dexter Gelfand. I VERY highly recommend him. Life changing. Thank you so much Dexter. I would like every one of my friends to experience your counseling.
— Talya Danielle
“Evelyn” lost her husband not a long time ago, and has been struggling to deal with it. She contacted me seeking relief, and I gave her a free session. A few days after the session, she sent me this message:
“Hi Dexter. Just a quick note here. Since our session, I definitely notice a lightness or lack of heaviness that I felt since (the time she lost her husband). I was around his friends the last couple of days and in talking about him, that extreme heaviness just wasn’t there anymore and it was nice to talk about him without it. There was also some kind of agitation that went along with that, which also is no longer there. I only recognized that because it’s gone. I am much calmer and more relaxed. Thank you.”
A very long time ago, due to hard circumstances, I made a decision that would affect me for lifetimes. It is so powerful when we do what I call “making life molding decisions”, generally as an attempt to cope with hard times. It is an effort to escape or avoid the situation at hand. And so I have learned to meet head on all my life experiences, and to create in my mind for adventure, not for escape.
Dex, your techniques never cease to amaze me! I feel so much more in control than I ever have. Things that used to be impossible for me or that I so wish to do but “only someday” I take head on now.
When I think of what I can do now I can’t help but laugh. This new inner calmness, clarity and confidence has turned my life around. When I first met you I was homeless, living in a van and barely able to make enough for gas and food. I hated myself, hated how inept I was and really didn’t see things ever getting better for me. I woke up each day feeling terrible. I lived with feelings of extreme anxiety, like I did something wrong, like impending doom. Now I can hardly remember what it was like to feel that way. Now I’m happy all the time.
Every now and then I think about what I want to accomplish and I think about putting it off or not doing because right now I can’t. And then I think there’s nothing stopping me and laugh and laugh, and then I do what I wanted to do.
Dexter the Magnificent, you truly are a genius among your peers, and you have helped me realize me!!! The greatest gift of all is to introduce someone to their potential. We are not even done yet, but what a long, long, long way we have come in such a short time!
“Dex, I am really, really changed! I’m so much bigger, so much bolder, smarter, quicker, all thanks to you Dex!
Things are just working out for me now! It’s amazing!!!!!! The things I have always wanted to do but seemed impossible are now just a matter of deciding to do them!
I have this calm, cool, comfortable self confidence that is making it possible for me to dream bigger and create action plans to make it a reality.”
— Kevin Hale
Thank you Dex! I think its amazing that I’ve found you, I’m finally building the life that I’ve been dreaming of since I was a young child! Thank you, Dex!
— D.D., Writer and performer
August 23, 2017
I’m feeling good since our last session; I feel calmer about making good decisions and my anxiety is noticeably reduced. I feel stronger with increased clarity.
I’m also realizing how much I withheld and denied my power by hiding inside my “failure” persona construct.