I think that its important to consciously have and connect with our essential, broad aspirations. They can serve to inspire, as a driving, motivating passion that carries you forward. One of mine:
“I may never be as God-like as I aspire to be, but I will never stop aspiring in that direction.”
With love, Dex
There’s nothing more gratifying than succeeding at what you are passionate about, especially when that passion is about making a difference for others! So this statement today from an appreciative client makes my day:
“You have helped me a great deal and this has been the most beneficial therapy I’ve ever received.”
— Alex H
April 16, 2018
The greatest and truest power, and perhaps the greatest satisfaction, is in granting power to another person.
“Granting power” does not mean to transfer one’s own power to another. That’s actually a very disempowering and condescending concept-“you haven’t much power, here, take some of my power, I’m a powerful source, your personal power is derived from mine, and so I’m above you, and with that understood, you can be a mini-me”.
Granting personal power is the expressed recognition of the innate power within another, and the encouragement for another to recognize and accept their own considerable personal power.
Don’t neglect or deny your own personal power, and help others to recognize and accept their own personal power, and everybody wins.
This is also as essential to conducting a good counseling session as it is to relating to others in any other situation.
In the past year or so, in working with my participants (I prefer the term “participants” to “clients”, I think it is more accurate and descriptive), in seeing, feeling and experiencing the energies of their minds, as well as my own, I have come to a breakthrough recognition:
Anger is an attempt to suppress or overcome fear.
This is very meaningful to recognize. An angry person is desperately trying to stave off some underlying fear in relation to whatever they are emoting anger about. This has much practical application, both in life situations and in therapeutic counseling. I have shared this with others, usually having it understood and well received, if not necessarily with the same excitement or enthusiasm this discovery has for me, as someone keenly interested in always gaining a deeper understanding of the mind and spirit, and applying it to help spiritually liberate others.
But what inspired me to share this enlightenment broadly at this time, is that just now, for the first time, I have seen where another person expressed having realized the same thing; a very spiritual individual, a great musician, none other than Carlos Santana.
I’ve just begun reading Carlos’ autobiography, “The Universal Tone, Bringing my Story to Light”, and in the introduction, he shares this:
“Before, I did not know that anger is just fear with a mask. Now I know that, and I have to move on.” How beautiful, and how true; and how wonderful it is to find a spiritual kinship with such a great spirit!
I’m sure there have to be other enlightened people in the world who have come to recognize this pervasive truth, but I find it striking after all this time, to finally find someone else has recognized the same thing, and to come across it this way.
Essentially, when we experience something undesirable, we tend to identify ourselves by the condition that impacts us. We take the bad condition on as a unique thing that we have, and we become the particular person with that particular condition – it becomes our identity, that which distinguishes us from others. We also tend to feel that, in having whatever such problems, that it makes us less than everyone else, not realizing that everyone else struggles with the same assumption.
The therapeutic “magic” of spiritual counseling is in the counselor’s taking in all that the participant is feeling and expressing, so as to really take in the depth of the particular energies that have become embedded in the participant, and conveying that this is taking place. With this occurring, the experience and energies, having been taken in by the practitioner, are no longer uniquely the property of the participant, and so no longer serve as a means of distinct identification for the participant, thus releasing and freeing the participant from that material.
In short, when the practitioner successfully brings the participant to experience and then express the painful energy to the counselor, and the counselor then fully and observably takes it in, it is then recognized that the undesirable condition is no longer a unique and defining quality of the participant, and it is thereby released, and the participant, typically, is released, rejuvenated, and happy. Because accomplishing a spiritual liberation from chronic painful material is what the participant is here to accomplish!
The official policy that is the essence of the Scientology doctrine
“There Is No Expedient to which a Man Will Not Resort to Avoid the Real Labor of Thinking.”
– Prominent 18th century English painter Joshua Reynolds
I read that quote in 1964, hanging in Thomas Edison’s West Orange, New Jersey lab during a 3rd grade class trip, and it is a key piece of wisdom that has stayed with me ever since. I think that it is particularly relevant in discussing and examining any controversial, polarizing subject, which people tend to resort to absolutes of acceptance or rejection, lazily framing something as being one-dimensional, so as not to have to invest thought in any actual examining.
Politics is one such subject, particularly at this time; “Scientology” is another. I have had my own passage through Scientology, having dedicatedly mastered and practiced much of Scientology’s “auditing” system and paradigm of counseling principles and techniques for several years. Over time, my perspective evolved, and brought me out of the strictures of the “Standard Tech Scientologist” mindset. My own conclusions are that there is so much of value in many of the principles and techniques that it isn’t wise or correct to dismiss the entire subject, and too much that is misleading and potentially damaging to accept it as it is presented and taught by its faithful adherents; in short, like any other system or paradigm, we are best served by separately examining each individual idea within it on its own individual merits, as we ourselves find them to be. My own approach, while being different from Scientology, nevertheless does incorporate those elements thereof that I find compatible with empowerment through better connecting with your own spiritual compass to accomplish your own goals, and omitting those elements that would have a person surrender or attribute self-knowledge, power or ability to any external source.
Those who have been wholly accepting or wholly rejecting of “Scientology” tend to have a viscerally hostile reaction to anything less than complete support for their own absolutist attitude, but there is also the chance for these folks, as well as the rest of us, to gain a more enlightened perspective, in accordance with the principle articulated above by Joshua Reynolds.
Interestingly, a great many of my own clients/participants in my Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling practice have been people who experienced most or all of Scientology’s “Bridge”, feel that there was much value in that experience for them, and at the same time were frustrated by the unfulfilled promises of Scientology and moved over to my approach to address and accomplish those frustrated aspirations.
It is my hope and intention to help those extreme views on the subject to accomplish a more rational and enlightened perspective, as well as to inform those who are curious about this controversial paradigm.
In 1965, L Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology, was, overall, a very angry man. A number of constituents, feeling stifled under the thumb of his autocratic rule, had spun off their own directions, their own formulaic approaches to spiritually therapeutic techniques under their own banners, attracting followers, cutting into the “Church” of Scientology’s income streams, and transferring loyalties away from Hubbard. Less than a year earlier, Hubbard, grossly overestimating his considerable ability to enthrall people, made a number of obviously hyperbolic claims about himself and Scientology to a journalist writing an article for the Saturday Evening Post magazine, resulting in a broadly published article that, to Hubbard’s shock and dismay, was anything but flattering, using his own words to ridicule him in a national magazine. He was accustomed to being idolized in his own world of Scientology followers, and anticipated similar success with the rest of the world, apparently. So this was one, but hardly the only, point in Hubbard’s life in which he was, to put it delicately, in a sore mood.
It was in this state of mind that Hubbard issued “Keeping Scientology Working”, a “Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter” imposing a condition on his followers and supporters of absolute submission to his every word, projecting himself as above all others and never to be questioned, but only strictly followed, asserting that to do otherwise was foolish, evil, and/or stupid. And that Scientology, and Scientology alone, was the only hope for a world that was headed straight to oblivion, and/or hell, without it; that nothing and nobody else was of any real value in this desperate crusade to salvage mankind, to wit:
“The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now with and in Scientology.”
There is an indoctrination process embedded into the “Keeping Scientology Working” manifesto that breeds hostility and resentment toward approaching the subject open-mindedly- in fact, Hubbard redefined “open-mindedness” for Scientology followers as an insidious disease, as some sort of opposition to “heroic self sacrificing unreasonable single-minded dedication the THE cause”- oh, and “reasonableness” is also redefined similarly. Inherent in “Keeping Scientology Working” is the subliminal mantra, “a good and true Scientologist cannot be reasoned with”. These are imposed concepts that, in my opinion, need to be re-examined by Scientologists. An actual insidious disease would be an implanted hostile resistance to examining the various elements of Scientology (or, for that matter, anything else) with an open-minded and unbiased attitude.
(more to follow)
Past, present and future are all actually “nows”, and if we aren’t too busy denying or resisting it, all of our connections are always part of us. We can make boundaries in our minds to try to separate things, but underneath them, the greater base of truth is that nothing, no experience or connection, is ever “gone”, and we are much better off recognizing that all of it will always be “here” and “now” as part of who and what we are, integrating all of our life continuum, and being whole and complete, not divided.
All counseling, all processing, should be in the direction of recovering all of the parts, feelings and sections of us that we have buried, hidden, denied, forsaken, and otherwise tried to separate from ourselves, and integrating all of it, to be whole, and to regain all of our powers to see, to know, and to be.
I’m very good at what I do, which is to guide and assist you in accomplishing your purposes for yourself, to resolve whatever needs resolving. But just as it is your drive to accomplish these goals of resolution and accomplishment that really powers your progress, there remains an essential aspect of getting all the way there:
Whatever negatives may manifest, no matter how strongly- ask yourself, “What purpose or responsibility of mine would this excuse me from doing, accomplishing, making meaningful, substantial progress, from producing right now? What would I be if not for this problem?” And whatever the answer is, DO that thing, now, no matter what, until you penetrate the “how hard it is”, and it gets easier- and then, KEEP DOING IT!
Your casting aside the idea that “I can’t now”, and making it happen, will greatly augment your progress in our sessions, or in whatever therapeutic modality you engage in. It may very well bring out pain of various kinds, worries, confusions, etc; but then it means that your efforts are flushing such mental and spiritual debris to the surface, presenting directly to be effectively processed in your sessions.
And so, whatever it is your issues seem to prevent you from doing, along with effective counseling and processing, it most certainly falls upon your shoulders to press forward, and rise to the occasion, to ensure your increasing success in making progress in your sessions, and in your active life.
Today, one of my clients, in looking over her notes about the sessions we’ve done, asked me over email, “You’ve done sessions with me that have taken as long as six hours! Oh my God, how do you do that?” What follows below is my answer, verbatim:
“Sometimes my clients seem to marvel about how I can be there with them for some number of hours, I guess because they find it tedious to sit through another person’s taking that sort of time in expressing themselves. But for me it isn’t work, I’m inspiring, inviting, welcoming and encouraging somebody to connect with and successfully process all that has thrown them into a state of reactive resistance, and freeing themselves to integrate and thus regain the fuller spectrum of all that they are and all that they could be, and its the easiest, most interesting and fulfilling thing in the world for me, and I’m enthused and privileged to do it.
Tonight I listened to a favorite radio sports commentator sign off from his program for the final time, and in thanking the audience, related what he told his children:
“Find something you love to do, and you’ll never work a day in your life”. And that is also my philosophy, what I’ve done and what I do. Hope that answers your question!”
What every practitioner needs to know and understand during any and every session, above all else, is that whatever the participant is doing or saying, the actual simplicity of it is that he or she is presenting exactly what he or she needs to process. And so, the practitioner’s simple and basic function is to understand, be present with and for, and completely welcome and allow that.