Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is the term I coined to describe and distinguish what I do. For me it has been an evolution long in coming, and always ongoing. It is very simple. It is my developed use of counseling techniques developed by myself, sometimes extrapolated from what has come before, sometimes completely my own creations, which are therapeutic, in that I am helping my participants to resolve and/or accomplish the things they need and want to resolve and/or accomplish, for, and within their selves. It is based on the recognitions of one’s own spiritual nature, abilities, and creations. And so, it is Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling.
The core principle of Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is to take up what one’s spiritual compass points to and presents. That means to always address what is “on your mind”, recognizing that this is the manifestation of your own spiritual instinct to deal with that which is most relevant for you in this moment, and therefore will result in the most substantial accomplishment possible for you now. Your spiritual compass is your own natural awareness and instinct to bring out what is most important to you here and now. And so, in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, we have this guiding principle:
Always honor your spiritual compass. It will never steer you wrong.
Through Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, you will come to be better connected to, mindful of, trusting and confident in the reliability of your own spiritual compass, and thus you become more empowered.
This approach ensures that what is addressed in each session is always what is most relevant to the participant.
My guiding purpose and function, and that of anyone else who is or would be a practitioner of Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, is: To facilitate the accomplishing of the participant’s own goals and purposes for seeking out and participating in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling. There is no other agenda. The practitioner has no other purpose; there is no standardized or generalized purpose or goal to be forwarded, not that of the practitioner, or of any organization or authority. There is no imposition of anyone else’s concepts of “liberation”, “total freedom”, “perfection of being”, etc. There is only that one purpose:
To facilitate the accomplishing of the participant’s own goals and purposes for seeking out and participating in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling.
Beyond this, there is recognition of the spiritual architectures of the mind to be addressed and dismantled, there are the principles related to the main principles stated above, there is the further defining of appropriate approach for the practitioner, and there are the techniques to be used, and these are what the balance of my forthcoming book will cover.
I hope you will find it interesting, enlightening and of value to you!
Here’s a simple little technique I wrote for relieving anxiety. Do this repeatedly until you really feel relieved:
“Look around here and find something that is ok right where it is.”
Interpret that as you will. And find one item after another, until you completely feel relief. Its helpful, and in some cases, necessary, to have a friend work with you to keep on repeating that instruction until it is really accomplished. It doesn’t take long, but when people try things like this alone, often there is a tendency to discontinue short of the full result.
That’s my gift for you for today. 🙂
There are two basic approaches to life, and we all have a mix of both, in varying degrees: magic, and mechanistic. BY “magic”, I mean, simply deciding what it is you really want to have or experience, envisioning that, and allowing for it to materialize for you. By “mechanistic”, I mean the mechanics approach, i.e., “this would have to happen so that that could happen”. The magic approach: “I want to feel joyful!”. The mechanistic approach: “If I work and save, plan my finances right, and wait long enough, and can plan the logistics to take a trip to the vacation spot, have the right food and drink, I could then relax and enjoy myself”- see, mechanics= a series of steps, each which mechanically brings about the next step. It can be very complex, and require much thought and effort.
The mechanistic approach, from the mechanistic viewpoint, is “practical”; the magic approach, from the magic viewpoint, is simple and direct. We all employ some mix of both; the magic approach is often below conscious level, but its especially magical when practiced mindfully, as in “The Secret”, for this of you familiar with that book; “The Secret” also does employ some simple mechanics- as I said, we all employ a mix. Neither approach is necessarily “better” or “right”, or “wrong”; they each can have their own beauty, and success, it might just be a matter of preference. I prefer to function as much as I mindfully can in the “magic” realm, and it certainly related to how I operate, not only in life, but in my practice. Simply knowingly deciding what will be for me, and allowing it to materialize. “Magic” — based people and mechanistic-based people may find that they aren’t very compatible with each other, or they may find that their differences serve to be complimentary to each other. You may not have thought of it this way, but every time you think of someone or something, and very soon after, that thing or person appears before you, or contacts you, that is a little bit of your own magic at work.
Stability may not be a very worthwhile goal. A more valid goal might be to be able to accept, experience, learn from, grow through and appreciate the full gamut of experience. And “stability”, or consistency may actually be a sought, created, artificial “solution” to being overwhelmed in encountering some things. We may need to redefine the concept of “stability”. Like taking on an identity- a fixed, stable attitude. And this suggests that a being who could truly experience “instability” might just be free, whether absolutely or to a much greater degree, of the need to take on identities, i.e., the need to be something, instead of simply, and purely being!
A new observation about reaching higher states of existence: The more challengingly disturbing energies/emotions you allow yourself to experience without resistance, the higher moods you can experience, more easily, and more regularly. Being that Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is largely the application of effortlessly allowing and thus digesting one’s negative energies and their structures, the more a person experiences this approach, the more adept the person becomes at experiencing the more challenging energies/emotions.
I will flesh this out more over the near future, but my latest advancement/ recognition is that “stability” may not even be a valid goal, and that a more valid goal would be to be able to accept, experience, learn from, grow through and appreciate the full gamut of experience. And “stability”, or consistency may actually be a sought, created, artificial “solution” to being overwhelmed in encountering some things. We may need to more accurately define the concept of “stability”. Like taking on an identity—a fixed, stable attitude. And this suggests that a being who could truly experience “instability” might just be free, whether absolutely or to a much greater degree, of the need to take on identities, i.e., the need to be something, instead of simply, and purely being!
I would like to share with you the following concept, which has direct bearing on my concept of processing one’s mental/emotional/spiritual material through Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling:
Time is a construct intended to lessen the perceived overwhelm of experiencing everything as happening without being apportioned as separate consecutively streamed events through the imposition of an orderly sequential continuum.
In my view, counseling sessions, conducted properly, are a means of breaking down and digesting those life moments that overwhelmed the being. The being is overwhelmed in encountering too much force to be experienced in the relatively quick, or short time span of that moment. The context of a therapeutic counseling session is to make it safe and experienceable by providing the longer span of time necessary to slow down the stream of force and other material of the particular experience so as to make it spiritually digestible.
And so then, perhaps, in the larger view, a sidereal time stream itself could well be a quantum physics creation by us as spiritual beings in an effort to mitigate, reduce or eliminate the perceived overwhelm of experiencing all existence as simply occurring as one integrated creation/experience. Or, in other words, time could be thought of as a construct created to organize experience so as to make it acceptable, experienceable, processable by a being with (perceived or imposed) limited ability to digest.
And thereby, in the most basic sense, the use of processing sessions is a way of reapportioning time in relation to experience. And, to more basically how we all, as spiritual beings, operate in relation to the assimilation of experience:
The essential method of a being to assimilate all experience is through, on a mechanical level, the management, and on a deeper and more directly spiritual level, the creation of, time.
There’s something the whole world needs to understand about guilt and suffering.
In my position as a therapeutic spiritual counselor, and in day to day life in general, I can’t help but notice the crippling effects of the mechanisms of guilt and “deserving to suffer”. These can be terrible conditions, a dark cloud and a burden some carry for the rest of their lives. This needs to be more closely examined, so as to correct the condition and allow for relief and happiness.
So, really, what is “guilt”? The surface answer would be that it is feeling emotional pain and thereby suffering due to feeling responsible for causing or not preventing harm experienced by another. I get that, I’ve been there. I lost my older son to a terrible disease, and my pain was beyond description, so, even setting my own natural empathic feelings for what others experience aside, I know how that feels. I could not help but feel that I let my boy down, that I failed to protect him. This was with me for a long time, very intensely.
But, what did my son gain through my emotional pain? Not a thing; in fact, it was nothing less than one more difficult condition for him to bear. It didn’t relieve his suffering and emotional pain, nor did it prevent his passing. So where is the logic and benefit of guilt?
The true answer is, there is no logic in, and no benefit to, the pain and suffering of guilt over the idea that one has acted to cause or failed to prevent harm experienced by another.
So then, where does this unfortunate mechanism of burdening oneself with feelings of guilt come from?
It comes from the most damaging concept and attitude that has ever befallen any society or individual: the very idea that there could be such a thing as “Deserving to suffer”. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “DESERVING TO SUFFER”.
You feel guilt once you accept the artificially installed, indoctrinated attitude of “I deserve to suffer”. The idea is that you could somehow compensate for your “sins” through “suffering that is proportionate to the sins”. Well, that’s a “noble” thought, albeit ridiculous. Did guilt and suffering ever fix or make up for anything anyone has ever done that had a bad effect on others? Of course not. YOU CANNOT MAKE THINGS RIGHT BY MAKING YOURSELF SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU FEEL YOU HAVE DONE WRONG. It simply does not work. It only makes you suffer, and it makes you disallow yourself to enjoy what you should be able to enjoy in your life. No good comes of it.
There’s something else, something within yourself that you are trying to solve through this mechanism of self-punishment, something more immediate than the harm to another that you feel burdened with. And this is what holds it in place: your own unwillingness to fully examine, have and accept your choices and the consequences they had. Instead of really looking, having, and spiritually fully digesting all the energies, emotions and sensations embedded in the painful continuum of whatever that particular experience is, the tendency is to try to escape that pain, and to do so by instead “feeling badly” (“guilt”) about the choices made, rather than just fully digest the consequences, and whatever did occur.
As we all are subject to religious and/or social indoctrination of “deserving to suffer”, “guilt”, on the surface, becomes a “convenient”, and “noble” escape and alternative to “the real work” of just fully taking what happened, without resisting the feelings, sensations and energies thereof.
It can be a nearly overwhelming challenge to take on those feelings, those memories and consequences; but it must be done, if we are to liberate ourselves from our self-imposed life sentences of suffering in failed efforts to compensate for what we are resisting within ourselves.
You may feel or find that you need help to get through the experiences. I can help. So can others. There is no liability and no shame in getting the help you need to do what you need to do. But your liberation lies in simply, and fully, accepting, rather than resisting, your choices, and the full spectrum of their consequences. Once done, it always turns out to be so much less formidable than what you have been imposing on yourself through the failed lie there being such a thing as “deserving to suffer
The false concept of there being such a thing as “deserving to suffer” has plagued mankind for ages. It has become a popular tool for damaged people to inspire others to do terrible things to others, and has resulted in horrendous suffering and pain through the ages.
The sick attitude of vengeance is opportunistically challenged through “they must be made to suffer for their actions”. Wars, hard feelings, conflicting political attitudes that prevent us from really being present with each other, never-ending vendettas that go all the way back to biblical times, none of these could be without the instilling of the emotional, social and spiritual disease which is the idea that there is such a thing as “deserving to suffer”. Self-serving sociopaths learn to control others to do their misguided bidding, in the name of “making them suffer”.
No good purpose is forwarded by willfully, intentionally causing another to suffer. Sometimes a person who is too dangerous to others must me quarantined, for others’ safety. But doing so in such a way as to intentionally make that person suffer is inhumane, unacceptable and inexcusable, regardless of how “acceptable” it might be characterized sometimes.
Recognize the cancer of the implanted “deserving to suffer” attitude and concept whenever and wherever it shows itself, in yourself and in others. Liberate yourself, and those around you make your life, and in fact, the world a better place. Make your own conscious decision to abandon the crippling game of applying “deserving to suffer”, however it might manifest, to self or to others, and let sanity, love (including of yourself), and connection prevail.
I would like to dedicate this writing to a friend who has suffered more than “enough”. Give yourself permission to be happy. Now.
With Love, Dex
The Importance of Emphasizing Positives and Encouraging the Participant to Challenge Himself/Herself
A very important aspect of making strides is for the participant not to merely “wait for it to happen through therapeutic sessions”, but to continually “push the envelope”, that is to go right ahead and challenge himself or herself to go beyond what currently seems approachable or experienceable to extend reach, push the boundaries back and claim more territory in the direction of the goal or purpose.
Indeed, the main factor of the degree of success any participant will have is their drive to achieve their goals and purposes, and so this drive must be recognized, appreciated, invited and encouraged, and the counselor should draw attention to and validate the participant’s drive to accomplish their goals and purposes both in and outside of the sessions, and the participant should be encouraged and reminded to go ahead and challenge himself or herself and always go a bit further in taking gradual steps in life to make progress in the actions related to accomplishing these things day by day, to find out that the next hurdle is not so formidable, then and be congratulated for doing so, regardless of the results, so as not to be discouraged and/or accept perceived limitations or barriers.
Draw attention to the goals, not the barriers; the barriers present readily enough, and so must be counter balanced by refocusing on the goals.
The above thought was voiced today by a client during our session, and I think it is very profound, and rings true. Creativity is the natural, joyful uninhibited expression of self, and any opposition to expression of self, which certainly includes freely expressing your presence wherever you you may be and whomever you may be. And where this is opposed, restricted, or threatened, we do not feel “safe”, and there is undesirable, objectionable impact on the soul, and there will likely be ripple effects on the mind and body. So we should be mindful of if and when our expression of our creativity is to any degree opposed or prevented, and seek remedy of such situations and conditions.
We should also be mindful of allowing, if not welcoming, the self-expression of others, and of any impulse or tendency to oppose the self-expression of another, to discourage the same in others, and to encourage the acceptance of another’s self-expression by others.
You may want to resolve those situations and conditions in yourself through Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, and if so, I can be available. But wherever this may occur, conscious recognition of any effective opposition to our expression of creativity in itself has value, and some effective remedy should be applied, or else we “shrink” as beings, and are subject to a variety of undesirable conditions and sensations. And the same happens when we mistreat others in this way.
– Love, Dex