Five Fundamental Principles of Co-Existence:
When someone behaves badly or inappropriately, it is because they don’t feel safe.
If you could understand the underlying reason why a person did what they did or said what they said, you could not be upset with them for that.
All positive interaction between people is based on love, and all negative interaction between people is based on broken, lost, or no love.
The basic underlying reason why a person feels unsafe is broken, lost or no love.
The basic reason why a person feels safe is a sense of being loved.
All of us experience again and again the same or similar situations, and it can make you feel stupid or hopeless from time to time, because all of our efforts to resolve and change can still leave us with our moments of feeling that there is something that is “uniquely wrong and unfixable” within you- even when you’ve had moments and experiences that made you feel you might have finally succeeded.
The roots of such conditions and situations lie in the unconscious recreating of the roles we’ve assumed in interacting with others within the same playing field, replicating an old game. The roles, or identities, assumed, the specific purpose that drives each identity, and the interacting with the other identities, each forwarding its own purpose, and the effects on self and others brought about through the purposeful interacting, these are the three principal elements that constitute any and all of the ongoing, regenerating games that trap and freeze us in repeating or continuous undesirable conditions and attitudes.
The most primal feelings, driving all endeavors and behaviors are love and fear- more specifically, fear of loss of love. And anger is primarily an effort to bury or hide fear; and thus we have the rage of betrayal. The conflicts and oppositions inherent in the games we’ve engaged in contain such elements, and affect how we feel, how we see things, how we experience things, and how we act and behave.
Understanding this can lead to methods of undoing such conditions and attitudes through gaining conscious recognition of the identities, the purposes, and the interactions of the game, along with recognizing and deconstructing the game itself.
Here is what one participant shared upon reaching this spiritual liberation:
“Nothing I’ve imagined came relatively close to what I am experiencing right now!”
(GG, with permission, May 21, 2015)
An “identity” is an assumed persona, based in a particular attitude, with its own characteristics, without flexibility to act in any way beyond its parameters, and therefore, frozen in its attitude, cannot vary its approach to respond appropriately to how things shift and change in life from one moment to the next. These are very common, in fact observable in just about all of us.
You most commonly become a particular identity when you feel unsafe or unable to experience, and face certain people or situations, and so you wear the armor or disguise of something in an effort to in some way handle or get past what is in front of you.
The ideal condition would be to be able to simply be present with whatever is here, and respond genuinely and effectively. And not be frozen in some limited personality construct that is not you. And thus maintain true connection with the world around you, rather than being cut off and subsumed by a frozen attitude, and filtering everything through that attitude. Being “in the moment”.
And thus it may be said that there are essentially two conditions in life: Being, or Being Something.
Identities have to have whatever empowers the identity to be the identity.
What that means is that whatever identity one may be in, that identity will seek, create, attract or fabricate the conditions that justify, provoke and empower the attitude and behaviors of that identity, so as to be.
Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is the term I coined to describe and distinguish what I do. For me it has been an evolution long in coming, and always ongoing. It is very simple. It is my developed use of counseling techniques developed by myself, sometimes extrapolated from what has come before, sometimes completely my own creations, which are therapeutic, in that I am helping my participants to resolve and/or accomplish the things they need and want to resolve and/or accomplish, for, and within their selves. It is based on the recognitions of one’s own spiritual nature, abilities, and creations. And so, it is Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling.
The core principle of Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is to take up what one’s spiritual compass points to and presents. That means to always address what is “on your mind”, recognizing that this is the manifestation of your own spiritual instinct to deal with that which is most relevant for you in this moment, and therefore will result in the most substantial accomplishment possible for you now. Your spiritual compass is your own natural awareness and instinct to bring out what is most important to you here and now. And so, in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, we have this guiding principle:
Always honor your spiritual compass. It will never steer you wrong.
Through Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, you will come to be better connected to, mindful of, trusting and confident in the reliability of your own spiritual compass, and thus you become more empowered.
This approach ensures that what is addressed in each session is always what is most relevant to the participant.
My guiding purpose and function, and that of anyone else who is or would be a practitioner of Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling, is: To facilitate the accomplishing of the participant’s own goals and purposes for seeking out and participating in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling. There is no other agenda. The practitioner has no other purpose; there is no standardized or generalized purpose or goal to be forwarded, not that of the practitioner, or of any organization or authority. There is no imposition of anyone else’s concepts of “liberation”, “total freedom”, “perfection of being”, etc. There is only that one purpose:
To facilitate the accomplishing of the participant’s own goals and purposes for seeking out and participating in Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling.
Beyond this, there is recognition of the spiritual architectures of the mind to be addressed and dismantled, there are the principles related to the main principles stated above, there is the further defining of appropriate approach for the practitioner, and there are the techniques to be used, and these are what the balance of my forthcoming book will cover.
I hope you will find it interesting, enlightening and of value to you!
Stability may not be a very worthwhile goal. A more valid goal might be to be able to accept, experience, learn from, grow through and appreciate the full gamut of experience. And “stability”, or consistency may actually be a sought, created, artificial “solution” to being overwhelmed in encountering some things. We may need to redefine the concept of “stability”. Like taking on an identity- a fixed, stable attitude. And this suggests that a being who could truly experience “instability” might just be free, whether absolutely or to a much greater degree, of the need to take on identities, i.e., the need to be something, instead of simply, and purely being!
A new observation about reaching higher states of existence: The more challengingly disturbing energies/emotions you allow yourself to experience without resistance, the higher moods you can experience, more easily, and more regularly. Being that Therapeutic Spiritual Counseling is largely the application of effortlessly allowing and thus digesting one’s negative energies and their structures, the more a person experiences this approach, the more adept the person becomes at experiencing the more challenging energies/emotions.
With love, Dex
I will flesh this out more over the near future, but my latest advancement/ recognition is that “stability” may not even be a valid goal, and that a more valid goal would be to be able to accept, experience, learn from, grow through and appreciate the full gamut of experience. And “stability”, or consistency may actually be a sought, created, artificial “solution” to being overwhelmed in encountering some things. We may need to more accurately define the concept of “stability”. Like taking on an identity—a fixed, stable attitude. And this suggests that a being who could truly experience “instability” might just be free, whether absolutely or to a much greater degree, of the need to take on identities, i.e., the need to be something, instead of simply, and purely being!